Feel like you’re being selfish if you say “No” to a congregational request? Too often we think being a good Christian means putting loving others before loving ourselves. We become door mats for Christ. But Jesus commands us to love ourselves fully, to be able to love others fully. “Love others as well as you love yourself.” Mark 12:30 The Message When it comes to responding to requests, I think Jesus calls us to respond in a way that honors ourselves AND honors others. It’s a kind of spiritual integrity,...

Are you a church leader, wondering where to begin in helping your pastor's spouse or partner feel truly welcome and valued? Are you sometimes unsure what to talk about with your clergy spouse, or fear that you'll accidentally offend? Check out 15 minutes of excerpts from our 2022 panel discussion to help church leaders develop healthy relationships with spouses of pastors transitioning to their churches. We share plenty of practical dos and don'ts from clergy spouses and a church leader, pooled...

Picture it. You and your spouse (the pastor) are greeting congregants at your new church home. Smiles and warm handshakes all around. Conversation flows with your spouse about pastoral concerns and hopes for the church. And then the congregant’s eyes turn toward you … “So, what will be your role in our church?” How do you answer? How can you answer a question so packed with expectations – past and future? At best, you want to build a relationship with this congregation. At the...